Merciful-Which I am not.

I have been alternating between being upset and feeling down since yesterday. The reason is that, my dearest father, whom I love with aaaaaallllll my heart(Rolling My Eyes),Who, in the words of my sister, is the one man who is fundamentally able to affect me,even more than I can say, said things to me that he has no right to say.

So, I prayed to God for forgiveness. I prayed also, for God to help me forgive him. Prayed to let go, asked for the Holy Spirit to help me,and all that jazz.
And my mind was cast back to the story in the Bible of the charade that was Jesus’ unjust trial, death sentence and crucifixion.
Now,In all of the ‘proceedings’ of that dark thursday night slash wee hours of friday morning, we are told that, even though he had been unjustly accused, and  unfairly treated, He never even expressed anger. On the cross, at the height of probably one of the most excruciatingly painful deaths to die, the man was still forgiving people! He prayed that those who crucified Him should not be held responsible for their deeds because in His words, they ‘did not know what they were doing’. *straight face*. 
He did nothing to these people! I’ve been foaming at the mouth because my father upset me, and people,’ let me understand you something'(caribbean for let me tell you something), my thoughts towards him at the time were not good o!  I am even partly  responsible for him insulting me. Yet, this Jesus, who had done nothing wrong, whose main crime lay in existing and telling the truth, got hurt so bad. And all He could was pray for them?? 
Sigh.I have a long way to go.
P.S- Anyone who dares think of Christianity as a bread and butter religion had better think again. Nothing about it is remotely simple. Try doing the things this man did. Forget Nigerians who seem to portray God as their own personal puppet( They are all jokers.



2 thoughts on “Merciful-Which I am not.

  1. It's not an easy struggle being a follower of Jesus – especially in the area of FORGIVENESS. But the key is not in His ACTIONS – which can seem unnatural and impractical – but in His MENTAL ATTITUDE which helps one realise that forgiveness comes from discovering that our enemies are not people in themselves but the spirit(s) that control their actions. Gen: 50: 20 helps put a lot of hurtful actions by others -some least expected – in proper perspective.The attitude is: since it all eventually works out for my good somehow, it may be a bit hard, but I know it's OK to forgive them right now, so I can enjoy MY blessings when they come, with no negative baggage to weigh me down. I release them (and hence, myself) in order to enjoy my crown of glory.So try to remember that the next time you struggle to forgive others that those things you "tried" to do are not supposed to be simple "motions" you "process" to enter into a "state" of forgiveness. They're are supposed to be the PHYSICAL manifestations of your MENTAL ATTITUDE.Take delight in the promise that good WILL come forth from EVERY situation in your life (not always easy to remember) and the struggle to forgive becomes easier.In order to remember this, it helps if you take up a specific mission to work for God's interests and you will begin to recognise the demons behind every hurtful and distracting experience you have. You'll then more readily forgive and pray for those who hurt you to be freed from the torments they shared with you. It was Joseph's "mission" in Egypt that helped him cope with forgiveness of his brothers, not so? It was Christ's mission that made Him readily recognise that His enemies were not the human victims who tormented him. And it did all work out very well, didn't it?Once your mission prospers -even if only in spirit – you'll be more easily able to forgive.

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